So here I am – entering my 30’s this coming Tuesday. I’m a mere decade away from the average mid-life marker. My past decade felt pretty long, but I get the feeling time will only go by faster now. Do you remember when summers used to last forever and holidays still felt fresh and new? Yeah, I’m starting to forget, too. At 30 I think I’m likely in the same place as the majority of the human race – not quite where I expected to be. I probably should have written one of those “In 10 years I will be…” when I was 20, but I didn’t, so here we are. I’m not even sure what I would have said.

At 20 I was straddling the line between hoping I’d find that special someone to have a few kiddos with and resigning myself to the fact that I was going to be Bridget Jones pre-Mr. Darcy for the rest of my life. Perhaps some writing, a few cats, and a lot of alcohol. I’m honestly much more feminist than this; I swear I wasn’t completely hung up on finding a fella. But it was a factor when planning my next steps. And then I just so happened to find my fella that very year and things took their course. I became so comfortable with life at that point that I think I left ambition by the wayside. (I never had much of it anyway, so it was easy to misplace.)

In my wildest dreams, what did I ever hope to become? Starting from childhood on up I believe I juggled the following aspirations: nurse, librarian, actress, teacher, journalist, writer, designer. Have I become any of those? No. Did I dabble in any of those? Some. Which I suppose is a start and I do believe that I have made great strides in the past year to actually “make something of myself” as it were. I feel like I am actually on a professional track and moving in a reasonable direction and doing pretty well at it. I may not be the wunderkind my mother always made me think I was, but neither am I the complete failure my emo young adult self always tried to make me think I was.

There is a balance in my life and I am continuing to grow. Every day. I can tell. It may not be happening as quickly as I’d like or as easy as I want, but there is improvement. I’m not even sure I’d like 20 or even 25 year old me anymore. She’s okay, but she’s also pretty selfish and lost. I don’t feel as bad as all that anymore, which is nice. But I am going to channel that self-absorbedness right now in order to propel me through this upcoming birthday with a list of 30 things I am proud of accomplishing in my past 30 years. I didn’t manage to make my 30 pounds lost before 30 goal (did get to 17, though!), so we might as well broaden the field as far as triumphs go. Cause this Peter Pan complex of mine isn’t just going to let me slip quietly into my 30’s, no matter how stoically I may attempt to do so. I’ll kick and scream and pout a bit, so let’s remind me of what all I have managed to do so I can better see what I might fulfill in my future.

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I finally hit my halfway point! Two and a half months later than I’d hoped, but hey. Considering everything that’s happened, I refuse to be too hard on myself. It’s still a good place to be and I feel like it can only get better. I won’t reach 30 by 30, but there’s still a chance of 20. I recently discovered a friend of mine that lives out of state has lost 90 pounds this year! It is so amazing and I am so happy for her. But it’s also showed me how stupid excuses are. If I want this – really want this – then I can make it happen. I’m the only one stopping me. I just need to stop whining and complaining. I need to take real steps to change my diet and improve my exercise. And I really feel like I have in the past month or so. And to keep up the motivation I have started another blog that will be dedicated to Paleo and running called Run, Cavegirl, Run. I’m pretty excited about it. I have a good friend creating an adorable header for it and I think this will help keep my accountable. Plus, it’ll keep this journal open to being more about my other personal stuff – family, friends, pets, events, and hobbies. If I get around to it. 😉 No one really reads this blog anyway, but I’m glad to have it here for now.

So there was this wagon. It seemed a strong, sturdy wagon. And yet after a very rough few weeks we have determined that we have fallen off of it. Quite hard and quite far.

Michael was in an accident on June 25th. He fell from his brother’s backyard zipline, about 10-12 feet. He flipped upside down and landed on his head, cutting it open. This required 15 staples and 8 stitches. He also fractured 3 vertebrae which had to be operated on and a disc replaced. He was in the hospital in Chattanooga, TN for 5 days. The bills have begun coming in and they are somewhat frightening. We also had issues with our car before and after this incident, resulting in $1700 in work.

Needless to say we have been stressed. And we have discovered that neither of us handles stress very well. Especially when Michael cannot even lift more than 15 pounds for 3 months. Crossfit got cut for this reason and due to cost at the moment. I started my running training for the Disney World Half-Marathon, but I have not been diligent. And Paleo happens maybe 15% of the time thanks to laziness and bad days which encourage us to eat out and badly. However, we do at least have the ability to recognize that this is just a vicious cycle and we will not begin to feel better until we retake control of our lives.

So welcome to August! And the 2 month mark until my 30th birthday. To say this has been a setback would be an understatement. I’ve regained at least 3-5 pounds, depending on the day. So my goal seems very out of reach at the moment. But I am determined to restart Paleo and do it well, following tips from my friend Kendra. (Yep, the same Kendra that inspired my 30 Before 30 actually started Paleo a few months ago as well.) I am also determined to run 5 times a week. And once Mike has improved with his physical therapy and we have a handle on all of our bills, we will also be returning to Crossfit. My goal now is to just stay on track for the next 2 months and see where it gets me. No cheat days, but I am allowing dark chocolate and red wine in small doses as that has worked well for Kendra and I figure it’s a good compromise and better than going nuts on one day a week.

So wish me luck and keep us in your thoughts!

Well, it’s progress! It’s odd how much I feel a combination of good and bad, though. I think I need to continue evaluating exactly what I’m eating. While bacon and sausage is allowed on Paleo, perhaps I shouldn’t eat them for breakfast every day. I believe I need to find lower calorie alternatives if my goal is to lose weight. I also wonder if I’m eating too many eggs – but they’re such an easy, tasty choice so it’s hard to say no to that form of protein. Especially when I get so picky about meat.

So I feel like I have more energy, I feel stronger, I feel better in my clothes, but I still feel blah and flabby overall. It’s obviously a process and it’s certainly getting better. But yeah. I hope to reach my 15 pound mark by July 2nd at least. I had hoped to be ahead of the game by then, but I won’t complain about any loss. We are also going to be kicking it into overdrive in the month of July – Crossfit 5 times a week instead of 2 and no alcohol except on Saturday. (We had be fudging a bit with wine lately.) I’m interested to see what kind of a difference these steps will make.

I figure I might as well post an update now that I’ve reached the two month mark, even if it is a bit anti-climatic. Especially compared to month one.

I basically lost 3 pounds in May.

Granted, I am grateful for those pounds and I do feel that I have put on a lot of muscle. More muscle than I can really recall having. I am way stronger at push ups and pull ups and sit ups than when I first started Crossfit. So I am proud of those little victories. But now I really do feel it’s time to get back into shedding pounds. I need to lose around 7 pounds a month if I want to hit my 30 before 30 goal, which is feeling a little daunting thanks to 3 Pound May.

So we are going to be buckling down, I think. Our Cheat Days haven’t been too outrageous, but I think we can scale them back even more. Now that we’ve been at Paleo for almost two months, cravings really don’t affect us as much. So we just need to make sure we aren’t eating extra on Saturdays just because we can. We’ve also had little cheats during the week. An off-Paleo dinner here, a bottle of wine there. But we’re striving to stop that going forward. We have also begun going to Crossfit three times a week. This week and next it’s because of our WOD for Hope charity workout, but even after it we plan on going to open gym from now on just to get moving and work on weaknesses. It’s also nearing my 6 month mark to the Walt Disney World half-marathon so I will be adding running during the week if it kills me.

With these things combined, I honestly feel like I have a chance. We just have to stick to it. Either way, we feel better and I am pleased with our results, but we’ve got a ways to go.

So it looks like I just might hit the 10 pound mark in just under 2 months – 7 weeks to be exact. I was at 9.4 pounds lost just yesterday. Of course, I have a cheat day ahead of me which always throws things off balance a bit, but we’re also adding in two extra days of exercise at least. We’re going to hit the open gym at Crossfit on Sundays and start attempting the daily WOD at the Apple gym on Fridays. Plus, I swear I really do have legitimate plans to add in running again on the off days. Soon ™. 😛

At least I’ve finally got some great new kicks to exercise in! Mike and I have been wanting to get minimalist shoes for awhile now and his friends got him a gift certifcate to Luke’s Locker which we finally put towards them. He got these incredible New Balance Road ‘Zero’s – he basically looks like Spider-man in my opinion. And I got these Brooks Green Silences, which also sounds like some strange eco-friendly superhero to me! I really enjoy them. I went for them because they were the thinnest and lightest they suggested while still being good for short distance running. (I’ll get a second pair of more supportive shoes closer to the WDW half-marathon so I can break them in.) Being thinner actually makes them feel more supportive doing Crossfit moves and running has been enjoyable, too. I will say my feet are definitely getting a workout, though. The muscles actually get a little sore and feel stronger. It’s kind of neat and I’m very pleased with my choice.

Otherwise, Paleo itself has still been going pretty well. It’s hard not to want to cheat at times. I really miss coffee and wine, but I know these are things I might be able to reintroduce later in moderation, so I’m trying to stay strong until I reach my first goal of 30 Before 30 at least. So it’s very encouraging to be almost 1/3 there! The most important part has been having so much more energy and feeling so much better in my clothing. Well, better and worse. My jeans can get kind of frumpy feeling because they’re getting smaller, but I will not complain about that, haha! I’ve also had lots of people commenting on my weight-loss, so that’s always a good sign.

All in all we’re doing well! We would really like to start looking into more Paleo cooking, though, so I’m thinking of getting this cookbook and trying our hand at some of the recipes. In the meantime, I am making Funfetti Cupcakes with strawberry icing for cheat day tomorrow and no one can stop me. ;P

So here are some amazing benefits I’ve noticed from just a month of Crossfit twice a week:

• more energy
• more stamina
• stronger muscles
• better balance
• clothes fit better
• went down a notch in my belt
• my butt already looks better!

I hope that last one isn’t TMI. ;D It just really snuck up on me, so I’m very impressed. I’ve been in some form of desk job for the past 4 years and I’ve noticed a dramatic thickening and dimpling of my hind quarters in that time. However, after just a month in the box, I’m already firmer and smoother. It’s pretty impressive and really the last place I expected to see changes. So, yay Crossfit!

So, quite fittingly, I ate those Salad Chips tonight. I had a bad day, I couldn’t stomach the fajitas my husband so kindly tried to give me for dinner, so I had Calbee and wine instead. This is a hiccup. They will happen. The important thing is for them to not define me or these changes. Shit will happen. And life will go on.

I’ve got Crossfit tomorrow – we had to skip Monday due to nursing hellacious sunburns. I will work even harder. I will push myself. I will earn this cheat day ahead of me! 😉 

So I stayed around 7-8 pounds lost in the first month, which is about 2 pounds a week so I certainly have no complaints. Especially considering I didn’t start Paleo until the 16th. If I stay losing this much consistently, I could reach my original goal by the end of summer and lose well over my goal by October 2nd. Which is an exciting prospect.

Crossfit continues to be a major factor and I hope to begin including running in my weekly routine again within the next week – especially as I just signed up for the Walt Disney World Harlf-Marathon and 5K in January. I really want to work on my pace and form and take plenty of time to do so.

Otherwise, I must say thank goodness for Cheat Day. And I must share the snack I am most excited about partaking of this Saturday: 

Yayayayay! Thanks goes to Annisa for bringing these back from Japan as my souvenir. Sadly, I cannot find them locally. I love the Salad flavor most, but she also brought me Cheese which I don’t really remember eating much. It was pretty tasty, but nothing touches my Salad. So I saved it for last as it is best! I am also thinking chocolate milkshake and plenty of wine, mwaha.

 

5 pounds down, 25 to go!

Well, at least that was the case yesterday morning. I really need to learn not to weigh-in on the day after Cheat Day. 😉 Not that I think we really go overboard – we had a small breakfast and shared both lunch and dinner. But it’s just a lot more carbs and sugar than we eat during the week, so we bloat up like whoa haha.

Still, I have been doing a lot of reading regarding paleo/primal/caveman-type eating and whether cheat days are a good idea or not. Personally, because we want this to be more of a lifestyle change and not just some diet we’re doing for a few months, I don’t think we could stick to it without a little cheating to look forward to. I understand the idea that having it is something of a crutch, but it is so much better than eating like crap all of the time or just eating okay or eating well but falling off the wagon after a few weeks. Change takes time. Habit requires persistence. And we need to know we can have that coffee and bread and alcohol and whatever else come Saturday.

The point is that we are feeling better and working harder. We even discovered a little nearby Farmer’s Market we plan on getting our meat and veggies from in the future. It’s been fun and I am very glad Mike is on board now. Having his support is really nice!